Preferred Vendor Interview: Reverend Annie Lawrence

Reverend Annie and I have worked on numerous weddings together and I wanted her to be the first in my series of interviews with preferred vendors. These are the people that I recommend to my own clients because I have the utmost confidence in the quality of their work and commitment.

I am always blown away by Rev. Annie’s emotional and spiritual connection to the couples that she marries. And without further blabbing on my part, THE INTERVIEW!

How long have you been an officiant?

I’ve been an Interfaith Minister and Wedding Officiant for nine years.   I was ordained in 2002, and did my first wedding in 2003.  I started doing weddings part-time, but enjoy it so much it’s now my full-time job.  I’ve officiated over 400 weddings and look forward to celebrating over 100 more weddings in 2011!

How did you get started?

My first wedding was for a friend’s niece.  The whole family was so kind and understanding and supportive knowing it was my first public ceremony.  It was a summer wedding outdoors at Bear Mountain in New York, and instead of choosing a traditional scripture or classic wedding poetry, they recited lyrics from their favorite band Smashing Pumpkins as a wedding reading, and it was perfect—after all, music is poetry!  I tell that story all the time to couples who are looking for ways to personalize their ceremony and make it truly their own.  I’ll always be grateful to Kim & Chris for trusting me as I was starting out, and for being so upbeat, original, and creative that I still tell stories about their wedding day!

What is your favorite part of the job?

I am truly humbled to be in the presence of love, and feel the trust, honesty, excitement, tenderness, trepidation, and celebration that accompany a wedding day.  After a ceremony, when a couple says “Thank You,” I say, “Thank YOU!” …for sharing such a personal, sweet, intimate moment with me and their family and friends.  It’s an honor for me to witness and bless a wedding ceremony.  The demonstration of true love touches me deeply, and reassures me that love is ever present, all around us, at all times.  It’s a huge step to acknowledge commitment, partnership, and vow to be teammates in life.  I am continually inspired and in awe of the courage, respect and gratitude between the couples I marry.

What is the most challenging part of being an officiant?

It breaks my heart to see couples put more emphasis on the dress, flowers, and party than on the ceremony!  I take time to share with every couple that contacts me what my job really entails.  Words have energy and power, and ritual is a deeply meaningful process that will touch you and change you on a deep level.  It’s more than just “signing the papers!   I meet with every couple personally whenever possible, to ask them what cultural, personal, or spiritual influences they would like to include in the ceremony, and explain to them that the only legal requirement is their consent (“I do”) and the pronouncement.  Everything else is based on tradition, religion, and our collective expectations.  There is so much room to have a truly personal, intimate, and meaningful ceremony that we may co-create to the couple’s exact specifications so that the ceremony becomes a bridge, threshold, or turning point in their lives.  A good ceremony acknowledges hopes and expectations, realities and challenges that will strengthen their relationship over time and become the foundation of a partnership based on friendship, support, kindness, and compassion, allowing for the experience of true intimacy, growth, and lasting happiness.

What is the most interesting ceremony you’ve done?

I am always thrilled to discover unique cultural traditions, encourage writing personal vows, and include family members in ceremonies.  I’m a sci-fi fan and pop culture enthusiast, and open to all requests.  I’m still waiting for the call to do a costume wedding!  That being said, I must acknowledge that every same-sex ceremony I am called to do is an honor, a thrill, and an opportunity to change history.  I know many same-sex couples are waiting for the state and federal recognition their relationship deserves.  To that I say—marriage takes place in the heart, not the state!  Let’s get you married right here, right now, and sign the papers when they become available.  When a same-sex couple is able to tell their friends, family, neighbors, and co-workers that they are married, it fortifies their relationship and changes hearts, minds, and by extension—it will change the law.  The only law I care about is love.  I am interested in marrying same-sex couples who do not know where to turn for their wedding ceremony and wonder who will honor and respect them and accord them the reverence their love deserves.  I can’t tell you how many straight, engaged couples call me because I openly honor their gay friends and am an ally and activist for Marriage Equality.  I am interested in changing history by supporting Marriage Equality for all couples!

What would be your dream job if you weren’t doing this?

The universe has a charming way of conspiring with me to make all my dreams come true.  There were times in my life I wanted to work in hotel management and hospitality, theatre and performance, curriculum and education, spiritual development, arts and the humanities.  As an Interfaith, non-denominational Wedding Officiant, I get to do all these jobs at once, and I am truly grateful.

What would be your one top piece of advice to couples getting married?

Keep Calm and Say “I Do.”  !!!  Remember that at the core of your decision, before there was a venue, menu, guest list, brides maids dresses, rehearsal dinner or budget—there was just the two of you and your feelings about each other, and your future together.  Don’t fret about the details, but do pay attention to your ceremony, and the words, actions, rituals, and emotion that are most meaningful to you at this turning point in your lives.  The rest will all work out!

You can learn more about Reverend Annie or contact her to perform your ceremony by visiting her website or following her on Twitter @revannienyc